If you don’t value your life too highly you are welcome to delve into my top drawer, you know the one that stores lavender smelly things, gaudy homemade jewellery boxes, undies and other secret women’s business. 
You will find there if you dare, a pair of magic undies...
I seem to worship a piece of astronomically strong elastic...
A trifle offensive possibly to the God that created the universe, including snowflakes and dung beetles. But sometimes I have more faith in my magic undies than in this creator God.
Sorry God *blushing*
I was under pressure! I had an important meeting! 
So of course I spent the morning preparing. Preparation is important when you’re self important.
I could have spent the morning in quiet prayer and reflection handing my stress and anxiety over to God, asking for his guidance and wisdom. 
So of course I spent the morning frantically dressing in 8 different variations of black, drawing white pencil into the inside of my eyelid and making sure I put on my magic undies. The ones that clearly make me look slippery slim, powerful and professional.
Really, it really is strong elastic.
I was fantastic. 
I think the undies may have created a third boob, but I had countered that with my baggy jumper. 
God is patient.
He lead me though my day despite my horrific treatment of him.
If I had faith, as little as a mustard seed...
Might be time to burn the undies...  *possible environmental concern*