Bathing

goggles I hate putting my bathers on.

But anyway. I do. Occasionally. Put them on. And swim.

Public pools are weird. Like a big bath, we all jump in and frolic around in the water, and because we know that we are all dirty, germy and prone to defecating in the water we make sure it is full of heart stoppingly strong chemicals. We don our bathers (swimsuits, trunks, swimmers, costumes, the things you wear when swimming because you can’t wear jeans in the pool), we make sure not to make eye contact with anyone, and we enjoy the buoyancy of chemically treated water. Bliss.

Sometimes God interrupts my life at weird moments.

Like the time I was at the pool. I was in the water, teaching my daughter to swim. Man, she is so cute with her swimming goggles on <3 , but anyway, she was sitting on the edge of the pool, and I was waist high in the water. We were at the kiddy end so waist high was as deep as it gets. (note to self: no backward press, twist somersault dives today).

My goggled cutie was perched gingerly on the edge of the pool, and I was standing not more than an arm’s length away. “Jump!”, “Jump to Mummy” I said in my overly high pitched enthusiastic Mummy voice.

When I say Jump, I mean take the extremely safe and small leap into my arms, I am right here, you can trust me.

I look at her with my pleading eyes, excited for her to see how she can trust me, and how enjoyable the water is.

“Jump”

Death stare. As only a 3 year old can. Eyelids half closed, head tilted, suspicion seeping from the curve of her lips. *shakes head*

“Jump, you can do it!”

Silence. Stubbornness, defiance, mistrust, fear. Clinging to the edge, to safety, to a cold hard life with the reliability of the known.

“Jump”

Tears. She wants to swim, but she can’t let go.

Tears. She grips the edge, she can’t let go.

Tears. She can’t trust what she can’t see.

“That’s you and me” he whispers.

I died for you, don’t you think I will catch you? Don’t you want to be in my arms, in the freedom of the water?

“That’s you and me”

You can trust me.

“That’s you and me”

I want to hold you, to swing you in my arms in delight”

“That’s you and me”

“Jump”.