15 Expectations

I like thinking about expectations. I have a lot of them. I think about what they are and measure how well God is doing in meeting them. I’m thinking of developing a grading system to make it easier to give God feedback, and reduce time needed on ‘prayer’. Perhaps there could be an app that measured my daily expectations and outcomes and gave God a score? Or maybe a chart on the fridge clearly outlining my expectations with rewards given when he meets them, next to my footprints on the sand magnet.

Anyway, I also find praising God when he meets my expectations to be a good technique. I like to ‘invite him into the room’ to discuss his performance. I either praise him, or sometimes I give him the cold shoulder or shake my fist. Either way the most important thing is that he gets the message loud and clear, that I have expectations, he needs to know what they are, and he has me to answer for if they are not met.

Most of the time he does a pretty good job, but occasionally he has a real balls up. Like off the Richter scale disappointing, painful and I am NOT HAPPY JAN.

I find the silent treatment is the only way to go at these times.

I can only hope that my expectations are met in heaven. *sigh/huff*

Frankly, I expected more from him.

Like, when is he going to update the bible to be more consumer friendly? Like this verse.

Luke 12:48     New International Version (NIV)

…From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Wait… you have expectations of me? Since when? Lucky I haven’t been given much….

Also, I thought the whole you are the vine I am the branch verse meant that I am an awesomely connected branch so let’s get drunk on the wine people! But that might have been the BPV (Bec paraphrased version).

Ok, well let’s assume for the moment that the actual bible is better than the Bec paraphrased version, here’s the verses:

John 15New International Version (NIV)

The Vine and the Branches

15 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.

Errr…. Verse 6 would rate low on my app.

So… you have expectations of me. Let’s not focus on that. Have you seen your rating today? Time for some praise… where’s my ipod.