Light

Matthew 5:13 The Message (MSG)

Salt and Light

“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavours of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

Salt is pretty awesome, especially if you mix it with caramel.

Add that to salty chips and you’ve got to say salt is the most important food in life.

I Love salt!

So it’s a pretty big gig for God to say we are salt, and that we are to bring out his flavours. I wonder what his flavours are?

I notice that this verse doesn’t say “If you lose your saltiness, never mind. It’s the thought that counts. Keep calm and carry on.”

Errr… it DOES say “You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.” Maybe that’s just The Message version, let’s look up the NIV … “It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.” Hmmm not much better.

Crikey this sounds serious. Am I salty? (Pink Himalayan rock salt of course)

Let’s read on: verse 14-16

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

I think a little wee just travelled down my leg

Is it just me or does that sound like a big statement? “You are the light of the world”. ?!?!

I mean thankfully in John 8:12 Jesus says “I am the world’s Light. No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in.”

So that’s good, but still… I am the light of the world seems like a big ask to me.

It also seems that I am not supposed to hide this light, it should be like a town built on a hill.

I have to say, I have hidden this light A LOT. I mean not just a little oops I forgot to share the light and hid it under bowl occasionally type hidden, but the I’m sorry but I’m too self-absorbed, embarrassed and ashamed of you Lord to share this light even though I know its life and death important I’m not willing to upset my well-manicured social boundaries on your behalf type hidden.

Its seems like this might be an important/serious area of my life to grow in if I want to keep out of the garbage… Am I a salty light? Or am I a bland bowl hider….

Fruchocs

 

If you don’t know what Fruchocs are then, my friend, I gnash my teeth and tear at my clothes with grief for your woeful life experience.

Imagine you have an apricot and you dehydrate it. Then you take a miniscule sample of your dried up apricot and add other unknown substances to it (possibly laxatives). You then dip it in brown matter that is designed to resemble chocolate. Voilà. You have a Fruchoc.

I may or may not be known for my love of Fruchocs.

When I was 12 my Dad took me to the movies. I was so excited, we were going to see the Muppet movie. I loved watching the Muppets with my Dad because he laughed... loudly.

We daringly decided it was worth putting second mortgage on my parents’ house to purchase something from the “Candy Bar” (helloooo this is not America…).

My excitement levels were reaching epic proportions… a movie AND “candy”. We discussed what we could purchase and the vote was unanimous… we shall go forth and order FRUCHOCS. My Dad leaned down and whispered into my ear “they are my favourite”.

DING. Synapses connected in my brain. These are my Dad’s favourite, they shall now and forever more be my favourite.

I placed my hand in his gigantic hand, my Dad, my hero, a huge influencer in my life, not only leading me in my love of Fruchocs but in my faith, and the faith of many others.

Such a precious treasured memory. Thanks Dad.

Little did I know, as I devoured Fruchocs and lol’d with my Dad that I was about to encounter another enormously influential character in my life… Miss Piggy.

What a woman/pig.

If you don’t know who Miss Piggy is then, let’s face it, your life is seriously troubling.

Give me a problem, I can solve things… Miss Piggy style.

No problem is too big… for example, lets look at a biggie right here... the crucifixion (I told you, no problem is too big).

John 19: 18 (NIV)

There they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle.

I’ve read the account of Christ’s crucifixion a few times. Sometimes I think, how could they do that??... How could they be so barbaric, how could they kill Jesus?!

Like so many moments in history, let’s face it, if I was there it would have turned out rosy. I would have thumped everyone with my hand bag Miss Piggy style, HIIYAHH!, stormed onto the hill and demanded the release of Jesus.

Right?

Well… not like the time when I couldn’t even muster the courage to mention his name because of peer pressure… and not like the time I disobeyed even though I knew I was heading down a path of destruction…

Or maybe it was my sin that took him there, and his love and obedience that held him there, no handbag bashing required.

*clears throat/snout*

*Storms off in a huff…*

Hmmm maybe not the best influence…

Anyway… I do love Fruchocs, and my Dad… any sometimes still Miss Piggy…

Fishing

 

Matthew 4: 18-20   New International Version (NIV)

As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”  At once they left their nets and followed him.

When Jesus said “I will send you out to fish for people” did he mean:

a) Find a beautiful stream, make sure you wear on trend branded clothing, gear yourself up, (no not that rod, that’s sooo last season), gather some mates, throw your line in the water, sit back and enjoy the serenity, if you don’t catch anything, it’s all good just enjoy yourself, relax.

b) Stand out in the desert reading your fishing almanac and scream at the top of your lungs “You fish are all swimming in the wrong place, idiots!”

c) Sit in your dinghy staring at the fish around you, whingeing. I’m not really in to fishing, I’m not gifted in that way. I would however like a bigger boat…

d) Find a school of low key, bottom dwelling dull fish. Join them. Then proceed to judge the future prospects of the showy tropical fish given the climate change issues the ocean is facing.

e)Become vegan.

f) Get a massive net, scoop up as many as you can. It doesn’t matter if they flap around with no idea where they are or what is happening to them, as long as you catch lots.

g) Get a sharp hook, trick the fish into swallowing it thinking it was something else, yes it’s painful, but also effective.

h) Tease the fish, reel them in, then release, reel them in, release a bit more, until they are so confused that they acquiesce.

i) Get a baby fish, keep it in a bowl as it grows up, never let it out, maybe invest in a fake plant and rock.

j) Stand on the beach, marveling at your strength and cleverness. Haul in as many salmon as you can, unhook them and bleed them, bleed them dry, while you sit back and have a well deserved beer.

k) Gather as many shiny lures as possible and drag them in the water in the hope that the fish will miraculously understand your subliminal message that there is also a real fish to follow, its just a bit embarrassing to mention overtly,  but look at all our bright shiny lures...

l) Become a blow fish so you repel all the other fish.

m) Find out where the fish are swimming, dive in, join in, wiggle your tail and lead them to a stream of living water where you can be free together.

n) I’m not really sure, but I know it made a cool song when I was a kid ♬♪♫ “I will make you fishers of men if you foollloooww meee.”

Friendship

 

Today I checked in to an event on Facebook… it was my 20^th birthday. Well I guess to be more precise I should say it was the 20^th birthday of my church, so naturally, we had a party!

It was a great day to celebrate what God has done in our community over the last 20 years. A common theme of celebration, was that of friendship.

Many people shared about friendships that had formed that were beyond the surface, they were friendships of truly loving one another and being honest with each other. Friendships that built each other up.

Friendships that were built on Christ.

Like Paul wrote about mates:

Phil 2:5-7 NIV

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!

Sure! Nailed that one, what’s next?

Hold on, my friend just updated their Facebook status… “feeling hungry… pic of a yummy low fat low carb  low sugar low taste meal… tongue out emoji” … lol

Wait, in my relationships with others have the same mindset as Christ. Oh I skipped that bit, I thought this was just about you and me God. Do we have to include others in this? Isn’t this just about my journey?

In my relationship with others, humble myself (cough) and become obedient to death – even death on a cross (lump in throat).

Seriously I am SO FAR from nailing this it’s not funny, and if you throw in that bit about people knowing I am your disciple by my love for others….

WHY CAN”T I JUST GET FAITH OUT OF A GUMBALL MACHINE??

That would be so much easier.

So, what you are saying is… ooooh wait, I just got a friend request from someone… let me just cyber stalk them to see if I want to be friends…

Oh sorry, so what you are saying is being a friend requires being a humble servant.

Sigh… that’s not altogether appealing, and more importantly there is no Facebook humble servant emoticon, so…. if I get a friend request from you Lord… I’ll probably accept, but I’m not sure I’ll follow your feed… Thumbs up emoticon.

NZ Breakers

 

In an effort to throw me off my game a Kiwi gave me the word NZ Breakers for my 30 day writing challenge.

Initially I was flummoxed. What was I going to write about? Dealing with devastating Loss? Being second best? Grace in the midst of agonising defeat? The lifelong battle to pronounce vowels correctly?

But then, it came to me. I should reminisce about the time I was set upon by a gang of 40 somethings.

Do you know what I love? I love getting up early on cold winter mornings to watch my son play basketball in the sub zero climate of a basketball stadium. Combine that with teenage man sweat in the air and you’re on a winner.

One such morning was extra special, because it was the grand final! Yes!! My son’s team had reached the final, and the air was a buzz of expectation. I sat down on the slightly too narrow for my girth icy bench seat (WHHHYYYYY do they make them out of metal???). I was super anxious for my son’s team to win, but had also researched and rehearsed the platitudes for a crushed teenage soul in the face of devastating loss. Either way I could see a trip to McDonalds in my future.

I sat ready for the game trying to blend in as instructed by my son (apparently it was not a good idea for me to spray paint the team colours on my hair, how dull.)

Suddenly the coach approached the pumped parent group with a furrowed brow (I’ve always wanted to use the phrase furrowed brow, tick!) he was saying that he needed someone to volunteer to operate the electronic score board. Eye’s darted, awkward pauses commenced, a sudden need to fossick in my handbag overcame me, but as often happens my mouth works faster than my brain and I accidentally volunteered.

How hard can it be?

The game commenced. I sat aside a delightful woman from the opposing team. She had the hard job, she held… the pencil. She dutifully recorded every point, foul, and knee scrape. She was AMAZING. I sat there and pressed a button. 2 points = press 2 times, 1 point = press one time. I SO NAILED IT.

The game was close. Really close, but I kept up with my score board duties with aplomb.

In the last quarter I was informed that because it was the grand final, when the ball was not in play I had to stop the clock, and then of course start the clock when the ball went back in to play. How hard can that be, after all I’m a woman, I can multitask.

It was, shall we say, harder than expected.

Tension was high, 2 minutes remaining, scores are tied. We missed our shot, they blocked the ball, it went out of court, STOP THE CLOCK, the umpire passes it, the player passes it in, START THE CLOCK he trips over, there is teenage man sweat on the floor STOP THE CLOCK, the young fella wipes it up START THE CLOCK the player fouls STOP THE CLOCK she scribbles with her pencil START THE CLOCK, he blows his whistle, STOP THE CLOCK, he blows it again START THE CLOCK…. It was terrifying!! My finger is trembling, my mind racing, the scores are so close, each second counts, I hope I’m doing a good job, my heart is beating out of my chest, 10 seconds remain and the scores are… wait.. the scores… teeth clenching bowel twisting blood rushing Oh Em Gee… I had forgotten to adjust the scores.

So, as you do, with 10 seconds remaining in a hotly contested grand final you adjust the score board you had momentarily ignored from my sons team losing by 2 points to my sons team winning by 2 points.

…I tried for a sheepish look on my face but it didn’t cut it.

The stadium erupted… (so I stopped the clock)…

They descended upon me, it was, actually, a bit scary. They were ANGRY, I was surrounded by a mob of 40 something angry parents. Not players. The young boys were just standing on the court, understandably crushed and perplexed, but the parents… There were finger pointing, accusation spitting, forehead vein popping tirades being fired at me from all directions. The umpire had to position himself between them and me and blow his whistle. He checked the score on the sheet recorded by the pencil lady. Yes, it was correct, we were winning by 2 points.

So… I started the clock, 10, 9, 8… the time ran out… and we won. (yay…)

There’s so many deep and meaningful illustrations I could draw upon from that character building moment in my life, but that would be trite so I’ll just say…. I’m available for hire if the NZ Breakers need a little help getting over the line ;)

Fairness

 

Jesus says the darndest things.

Like this corker:

Matthew 16:24    New International Version (NIV)

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

Now if I was Jesus marketing manager I would advise against this as his campaign slogan. , “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” It is quite frankly, appalling. That does NOT sound like a fair deal to me. It sounds like something to run run as fast as you can like the gingerbread man from.

I don’t want to deny myself, let’s start with that. I LOVE MYSELF. I surround myself with things that bring me comfort and pleasure. Thanks for coming. I may deny myself but that’s only if it brings me rewards like fitting into the right size dress, there has to be something in it for me.

 “I want to carry a heavy burden”

                                                -No one, ever

 Perhaps we should read the rest of the verses…

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.

Errr, well sounds fair EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE I LOSE MY LIFE.

I notice that this verse doesn’t say “If you don’t want to lose your life for me, never mind. You asked me into your heart in 1985 and I’m happy to stay in your life as a handy accessory”

So, when you say lose your life you don’t mean, like lose it do you? (The disciples are clearly not setting a good example on this one)  You mean choose that more modest tile for my bathroom renovation even though I can afford the more expensive one don’t you?

Cos let’s face it. Whilst there are people following you, being persecuted, tortured and killed for you as I write this, I’m not. I’m sipping coffee.

So, if it’s ok with you I might just water this down a bit.

(BPV)

“whoever wants to be my friend must love themselves, take up a position on a roster and invite me into their heart (whatever that means), For whoever wants to have a better life than their neighbour will be ok as long as they visit me, and whoever gives up the tiles they could have afforded because they are going to donate the difference to the offering will be rewarded.”

C’mon that seems fair yes?

You give… let’s see… your life in a gruesome unjust and excruciating death

And I… hedge my bets and give up some of my money, my time and my tiles.

Sounds fair.

(BPV) Bec paraphrased version

Clog

You gotta un-clog your drain dude!

                                                 -Jesus (BPV)

One of the best (if not the best) things about working in the hairdressing industry is the amount of times you get a clogged drain.

It happens quite frequently and of course, it needs fixing. I am just the person for the job. Now don’t offend me by bringing out the driano *waves finger *… my tool/weapon of choice is the coat hanger. There’s nothing more satisfying than pulling out a massive hairball from a slimy drain. Well, hopefully that sentence isn’t true… Anyhoo… I’m the sort that likes to take a photo of it, give it a name and keep it as a pet for a few days, whilst others are having a chunder in the corner.

I’d just like to interject here as the sane part of Becky’s brain and point out how mature she has been not to use a blocked toilet analogy. *pat on back*

But ain’t nothing gonna stop from me from going the enema route *in your face sane brain*

Just kidding, Sorry Mum.

Let’s just say, when I refer to a “clogged drain” you know what I mean *wink*

Right, where were we, clogged drains and the bible, yes, a natural segue.

Exodus 20:3   New International Version (NIV)

³ “You shall have no other gods before^[a] me.

Ok… seems straight forward?

So, you know how sometimes you think you can hear God (maybe) or you feel he is leading you in some way, but how his voice is so faint you can hardly hear it? You gotta un-clog your drain dude!

Or like you are in a church service and you think God is speaking to you, but you clench your teeth and grip your fists into balls and mutter under your breath... “not now God”… You gotta un-clog your drain dude!

Or how you worry that if you took your faith seriously and did what the bible says you might go completely nutso so you fill your life up with as many distractions as possible… You gotta un-clog your drain dude!

Or how you fixate on your friends drain and how they really need to sort that shit out… You gotta un-clog your drain dude!

Because when we put fear, possessions, pride, selfish ambition, freaking pretzels if you like, before God then we clog up our drain. We put these things before him like a slimy hairball. And we worship the hairball. Dude. That’s nasty.

Don’t worry, the spirit interprets your prayers, just ask him “Lord, please un clog my drain”.

But you better be ready for a serious shit storm. Because the evil one wants us to walk around crippled by our enormous pent up constipation. Bloated by our worship of our hairballs. (Rebecca 12 verse: 6,7 BPV)

I clog my drain all the time, filling it up with shit, in a desperate attempt to block out God.

Get your gloves on God, you got some serious work to do.

(BPV = Bec paraphrased version)

Willing

 

Morning

Morning

So, another day eh?

Yep

Hey, do you reckon you could...I dunno, make my life totally awesome today?

Hmm, how do you mean?

Like, can you make me kind of super christian like? Can I, you know… arrive today at that place I’m searching for?

Let’s see, you want to know me and be in a complete relationship with me?

Errr… kind of? I guess?

Well, as you know, I am who I am. I am the I am. I rock  amness in all it's amnessness.

Are you on drugs?

No, I’m just trying to make a point, maybe read it in that bible I gave you check it out Exodus 3:14.

Ok…

I am the Lord your God. Do you trust me, are you willing?

Do I trust you and am I willing to let you make my life awesome? Hell yeah, I mean yes please!

Well, when you say awesome you mean you want to know me more yes?

Yes! Especially if it gives me the warm and fuzzzies!

*sigh* Ok so you trust me yes?

YES!

Are you willing to put that trust into action?

Errm… I guess so... I say I trust you, so I must. Being willing is easy surely. But before I say yes, can you give me an example?

Sure, are you willing to be generous?

Are you willing to be uncomfortable?

Are you willing to face hardship for me?

Are you willing to trust me with your kids?

Are you willing to have less, so that your brother can have more?

Are you willing to suffer for me?

Cough…. Not reeaaaalllyy *awkward moment of naked truth*

Ok are you willing to be willing?

*scratches head*…. I’m not super keen.

What are you willing to do?

I’m willing to admit I might have a small willingness problem, and perhaps commit to someday in the future addressing the fact that I need to be willing to be willing, God willing.

That’s not really following me is it.

No, not really. Could you perhaps help me to be willing?

I can, if you are willing ;)

Touché!... You are the I AM! *high five*... Let's get willing.

Expectations

 

I like thinking about expectations. I have a lot of them. I think about what they are and measure how well God is doing in meeting them. I’m thinking of developing a grading system to make it easier to give God feedback, and reduce time needed on ‘prayer’. Perhaps there could be an app that measured my daily expectations and outcomes and gave God a score? Or maybe a chart on the fridge clearly outlining my expectations with rewards given when he meets them, next to my footprints on the sand magnet.

Anyway, I also find praising God when he meets my expectations to be a good technique. I like to ‘invite him into the room’ to discuss his performance. I either praise him, or sometimes I give him the cold shoulder or shake my fist. Either way the most important thing is that he gets the message loud and clear, that I have expectations, he needs to know what they are, and he has me to answer for if they are not met.

Most of the time he does a pretty good job, but occasionally he has a real balls up. Like off the Richter scale disappointing, painful and I am NOT HAPPY JAN.

I find the silent treatment is the only way to go at these times.

I can only hope that my expectations are met in heaven. *sigh/huff*

Frankly, I expected more from him.

Like, when is he going to update the bible to be more consumer friendly? Like this verse.

Luke 12:48     New International Version (NIV)

…From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Wait… you have expectations of me? Since when? Lucky I haven’t been given much….

Also, I thought the whole you are the vine I am the branch verse meant that I am an awesomely connected branch so let’s get drunk on the wine people! But that might have been the BPV (Bec paraphrased version).

Ok, well let’s assume for the moment that the actual bible is better than the Bec paraphrased version, here’s the verses:

John 15New International Version (NIV)

The Vine and the Branches

15 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. ³ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴ Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.

Errr…. Verse 6 would rate low on my app.

So… you have expectations of me. Let’s not focus on that. Have you seen your rating today? Time for some praise… where’s my ipod.

Comparisons

 

I wake to the touch of my daughter’s hand as she squeezes my cheek

She wakes with the twist of her stomach gnawing away her insides

I consider my day ahead and ready my children for their day at school.

She captures a glimpse of her son, and worries for his future.

I sigh at the daily grind ahead of me

She wonders if today will be her last

I ask you “Lord give me strength to face my day”

She asks you “Lord give me strength to face my day”

I carry out my chosen career that gives me fulfilment and identity along with its frustrations and conflict.

She steels herself against the identity that was thrust upon her as a child, and wonders how she will survive.

I am annoyed that my lunch break is delayed as I finally sit down to eat my lunch.

She waits for customer number 5. Wondering if she will eat today.

I welcome my kids home from school, I lament the overuse of technology and set some boundaries “30 minutes and then your time is up”

She sets her son down, under her bed, as the men come 1, 2, 3,… 10,… 15. She prays that her son can block it out, “stay there, don’t move”.

I say “I want my kids to live a rich and full life”.

She says “I want my kids to live a rich and full life”.

I make dinner, resentful that this task is so often left to me.

She makes a meal for her son, she made enough money today for one meal, they can share.

I lie in bed, exhausted.

She lies in the stench of her violations, broken.

I am rich.

She is poor.

I say “is this my life?”

She says “is this my life?”